When Todd and I were dating, he would always say, “Don’t let my bad mood put you in a bad mood.” Well my friends, that’s easier said than done.
Saturday night we went out to dinner at our favorite shabu-shabu restaurant. Dinner was definitely not dull. Ryan had managed to throw something and hit a bowl of sauce sending it to the floor and then all the way to the ceiling. He poured his bowl of food on the counter. And he threw his chopsticks across the room. Needless to say, it wasn’t a very enjoyable dinner.
When I left the restaurant I felt exhausted. Our original plan had been to walk around the shopping center to work off some of our meal. I looked to Todd and said, “Are you sure you still feel like walking around?” Which of course was me telling him in a round about way that I was no longer in the mood. That I wanted to change our plans. Then I followed it up with, “I’m just kind of in a blah mood now.”
Todd doesn’t like it when I change my mind about what I want to do. So he got annoyed.
We decided to push-on anyway and walk. As usual, walking began to cheer me up, as it usually does. My mood began to change, but unfortunately, so did Todd’s. Now I was feeling better, but my previous mood had caused him to become blah.
Why is it easier for us to say things, but then harder for us to do them? Why can’t we just cheer up our spouse when they are feeling down instead of taking on their feelings? Why do we let their mood rub off on us? Oh, marriage can be exhausting…
{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
Its so nice to know I am not the only one who has this problem. I thought it was just me being too involved on Robs life and not having enough of my own life.
I know what you mean Anita, but I think we just want our spouse to be happy and when they aren’t, we can’t help but feel the same way.
The best laid plains of mice and men….you know the rest. We try our best, but after an evening at a restaurant like you just described, would make anyone cranky.
True, Nancy. I wish I could have just gotten over it when we left the restaurant though. That would have been better
Maybe it’s a control issue? I want to control your mood so that it doesn’t make me have to change mine? I would much rather re-create you in my image rather than allowing God to continue His work in you, making you into the person He has in mind. I’m far too impatient to let Him run his course. I’d much rather speed things up and tell you how to be….
Be happy
Be in a good mood
Be like me!
Bad idea. Be yourself and allow God to do His marvelous finishing work that He has already begun. I’ll do the same and through grace and lots of love we’ll be okay!
Love you,
Todd
heavenlyhubby
Hopefully there aren’t too many things about me you’d like to change, heavenlyhubby! God is definitely doing His work in me, but he needs a LOT more time! Ha, ha!
Maybe…the reason why we get affected by our spouse’s mood, cranky or happy, so easily, is because at that time we aren’t strong and positive enough in our own mood and feelings, and so we leach off of our spouse’s. I can only speak for myself and my experiences with my own hubby. A lot of the time, I find myself piggy backing on his mood and well being, if he’s feeling frustrated or cranky it brings me to an insecure downward spiral. Not fully sure why, but I guess, at that time, it makes me a mood leach. If I were feeling happy, strong, joyfull and secure all on my own, then it wouldn’t so much matter if he were a little on the slau side, it wouldn’t affect me so much… But then again, how could we not be affected by our partners moods. Wouldn’t it be insensitive to just be traaleelaaing about our merry way, no matter what mood our spouses were in?? -Hmm, maybe it’s like everything in life, a good and healthy balance… and a whole lot of Gods good grace, lol.
It’s hard to be happy when your hubby isn’t. It kind of feels like you’re rubbing in your good mood or something! Maybe if we could all just not be frustrated or cranky, this world would be a better place
I agree…I cant be happy well my husband is down…it doesnt feel right. So…i prefer to cheer him up. Honestly that would never happen