I’m not really the type of blogger that likes to share every detail of my marriage and family. I guess this post will be a little different than my norm.
When Todd and I got married, we agreed to have one child together. Todd already had Ruby from his previous marriage, so for him, two kids was going to be enough. I agreed because I figured one would be enough and if I really wanted another, well maybe I could talk to him and he would change his mind.
After the birth of Ryan, almost two years ago now, I really wanted another child. I couldn’t believe how amazing God is and that He creates these beautiful human beings. Being pregnant (a little uncomfortable at the end) and childbirth (not too bad for me) are small prices to pay for the joy you receive from one of these tiny little cuties.
The love I felt for Ryan after his birth was like no other type of love I’ve ever experienced. The love for your child is so different than any other type of love you feel for your spouse, family or friends. I had no idea I was going to feel this way. I knew I would love our little guy, but not in a I can’t get enough of you sort of way.
So like most other women, I immediately decided I wanted another. When I told Todd, he wasn’t exactly jumping for joy as I had planned. More like, jumping out the window. After all, we agreed to have ONE child, not more.
Having a newborn around is also a lot of work. It’s exhausting because they are awake when you want to be sleeping. They need to be fed, burped, and changed 24/7. I can also see how Todd would have a hard time because I’m a stay-at-home mom and therefore he has to support our entire family. Plus, support his employees. It’s a big responsibility. But I guess I can say I’m selfish and I still wanted another.
Before Ryan was born, we also agreed that Todd would get a vasectomy a few months after Ryan’s birth. When the time came, I was very upset. I wanted another baby so bad. I was frustrated that Todd didn’t feel the same way. I was frustrated that he wasn’t willing to change his mind for me. But there was nothing I could say or do, we had agreed on having one and only one child together.
Todd ended up having his vasectomy. Shortly after, we got the green light from his doctor that we were free and clear to lose the birth control. It’s been almost a year now…
Read more here…The First Pee Is The Best
{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }
This is good…… You peaked my interest!!
Hmmm. This is always a tough conflict! We have three littles and hubby is pretty happy with that number. Right now I think I am satisfied too, but something deep inside me still longs to have just one more. My "baby" will be turning two next month, and I am starting to feel the pull to have another one.
I am interested to see how your story will turn out!
Funny you say, "but something deep inside me still longs to have just one more." That was my hubby's defense because he said how do I know I will be satisfied with one more. Maybe we'll have one more but then I'll want another after that. Hmmm…
Me and my husband agreed to only have one child and when my son turned 9 months I decided to talk to my husband about having another one. It took some convinceing and I finally got my way so to speek. we agreed wed have one more but not until our son was a year and half. on his first birthday i cried because my son was not a baby anymore and i brought up the subject agian. my husband decided to say yes we can start sooner there is no garante that i would get pregnant right away. we have been trying to get pregnant for about 7 months now and still nothing. i wish now that i never even wanted to get pregnant because im starting to give up hope.
Hi Jennifer,
Did you have an easy time getting pregnant the first time? Sorry to hear it is taking a while this time around. Don't give up hope because this is something you really want. Good luck to you!
Don't lose hope! It took us 4 years to get our baby. If anything in your body is out of wack, it will take a while. We were pregnant 3 times… We lost the first one, the second died at 4 weeks- It was twins, then a year and a half later, we got our little Luke. He's it for me. No more babies!
Now, you know I am wondering if there was an escapee sperm….lol
Now following from Follow Me, Chickadee Fridays.
Stopping by from Follow Me, Chickadee. You've got a new follower, I want to know the conclusion to this story!
my father had the same surgery…then had a reversal when he met my, much younger, step-mother! And went on to have 3 children with her after the reversal. Soooo, that's always an option
Nothings ever permanent for men with that surgery. lol.
I can’t wait to hear the rest of your story. I have 5 kids with 2 left at home. The last 2, 14yrs and 12yrs. They are my whole life. I have there dad, but he doesn’t have the bond with any of our kids like I do. I’ve always wondered why some men can be so close with their kids and some can’t. I was just wondering if your hubby is close with your little one?
Anyhoo, I was stopping by from Follow Me Chickadee Friday. I’m following you, will you follow me?
http://songberries.blogspot.com
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Hi Carol! Thanks for the follow! Yes, my hubby has an awesome bond with our 21 month old boy. But to be honest, it took many months for this to happen. I think he started connecting with him once they could play together and he could get a little more back from our son. He also has a close bond with his 12 year old daughter who is with us part-time. I agree that men are different. I know a lot of men who bond with their newborns right away. At least my hubby and son are close now. That's most important.
Heading to your blog now!
My hubby has just gotten busy doing all the things he wants to do and doesn't really take any time with the kids. I spend lots of time with them. I feel bad that they don't want to do things with him, but you have to put in the time on the little things.
That's so good that your hubby is close to your kids. Hopefully he'll want someone else to tug at his heart strings!
I was told at 19 years old that I would never be able to get pregnant. I never used protection with my boyfriend, because well, I couldn’t get pregnant. I never wanted kids either. I was happy.
10 years later, I find out I’m 3 months pregnant. I was scared to death. I got over the scaredness and was sooo happy, I was having a miracle baby (I’ve had a lot of female health issues). She is now 15 months old and I couldn’t be more blessed. I love that little girl more then anything in the world.
Because of my medical issues after I had her, I had a few surgeries to correct it. Finally last month (June), my doctor tied my tubes and did a uterine ablation. I didn’t want anymore kids, I’m happy with the one I have. After the surgery for a few weeks and even now…I have issues with the fact that I can never have kids again. It’s weird, because I don’t want anymore. I hope it passes with time, but I couldn’t even attend a good friends babyshower.
Hi Kristin,
I love hearing the story about your daughter! She is a little miracle!
I think a lot of women still want more kids, even when they know they are done. I think it's very natural and normal. You might be feeling regret because you made your choice "official." We also always want what we can't have. If you didn't have the surgery you would probably feel ok because you know you could have another if you changed your mind.
Hang in there! I'm sure your choice will get easier for you