This post is a continuation of yesterday’s post. Please read, One Is Enough, Or Is It? before reading this post.
It’s been almost a year now and we haven’t worried about birth control since Todd’s vasectomy. I’ve been having all my periods (sorry men) in a timely manner since getting off the pill. Just as I have for the last 20 years.
This month has been different. As of today, I am late. I have checked and rechecked my calendar to make sure I didn’t miscalculate the arrival date. My hubby is a bit concerned by this news. Can I be pregnant? After all, they say pregnancies have occurred after a vasectomy. It IS possible, but unlikely.
As I said in my last post, my husband had his sperm count checked after his vasectomy and it was at less than zero (hopefully you followed my directions and read my last post. If not, click here). Plus, we’ve had lots of opportunity for pregnancy to occur before now.
Well, take a pregnancy test you say? I did on day 4 of my missed period. I always take the digital ones that say “Pregnant” or “Not Pregnant” because I didn’t have a clear conclusion when I was pregnant with Ryan using the “+/-” tests.
When I went upstairs to have some privacy to take the test, my heart was racing as I sat there. The selfish part of me wanted it to be positive, but then I would think of Todd and I would hope it was negative. My mind just kept going back and forth. Anyway, I was so delirious I peed on the stick and then put it on the windowsill. Too nervous to look and see the outcome.
I couldn’t stand the suspense and finally grabbed my pee stick. It said…”Not Pregnant.” I can honestly say I was a little disappointed, but I knew my husband wouldn’t be. I went downstairs and pretended to joyfully give him the news. He was relieved.
Now that brings us to today. I am officially 9 days late now. Where is my period? I feel stupid thinking I may be pregnant considering a vasectomy and a negative pregnancy test have gotten in the way. But if I’m not pregnant, then once again, where is my period? It has NEVER been this late.
As I write this, I actually do feel as though I may be having cramps. But no period yet. Of course, when you are pregnant though, you can experience what they call “phantom cramping” which feels like you’re getting your period, but you’re really not. Things like this make me even more confused.
I know our minds can play tricks on us and make us think that we are pregnant. This has happened to me many times. But I’ve never been 9 days late either. When I want to make myself feel sane, I tell myself that I can’t be pregnant no matter how late I am. Something else must be causing my period to be late. After all, my husband had a vasectomy!!! If I am pregnant, it would be something close to a miracle. In my eyes anyway. My husband might call it something else!
Tomorrow morning, bright and early, I am going to take another pregnancy test if my period doesn’t show up first. They say your first pee of the morning is best. Funny. Todd always says the first sip of beer is the best.
If the test says that I’m not pregnant, then I’m going to go with that and try and put all of this out of my head. Part of me will be disappointed though. Maybe I will do some jumping jacks or something to shake it out. I even wore bright white underwear yesterday and my favorite leopard underwear today hoping that would help.
If the test says I’m pregnant, well, it would be hard to tell Todd, even though I would be smiling inside.
Either way, our marriage will remain strong and this too shall pass.
Until tomorrow…
Read tomorrow’s post here…I’m Positive…
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
This is my first time to your blog. I read your prior post and this one and I feel sad for you. Being a mom has been my greatest joy and I can feel your sadness. I wish I had some words of comfort to give you but I am at a loss right now.
The suspense is killing me.